 Wednesday, December 8, 2010
 Am i so different? :( at 4:57 AMI TRY talking to you. You answer in one-two words. What am I supposed to do? Ignore? Wow. You want to forget me. Is it that? Then wow. Wow. I'm serious, all I can say is wow. And Why? Is there something wrong with me? Oh okay. If there IS, then i DARE you to come forward and tell me straight into my face. Yes. I DARE YOU. You don't dare, then at least just answer me with 'proper' answers. At least 3 words. Is it so difficult? Okay. Nevermind. Sometimes I ask myself: Why must I keep caring about what you do or say to me when I am nothing to you? Why? Maybe I should just forget. Forget you. Yes, that seems nice and it makes SENSE. But like Cheyenne said. It is just so difficult to forget... Nevermind, I'll just try to forget, but I don't know if my heart will forget. If not, I'll just let my heart suffer in silence. However, when you are with other girls, you just talk so normally, you flow with the wave. You even like VOLUNTEER the conversation. Maybe I'm just stupidly jealous. Maybe. It's like I don't even recognise MYSELF now.. :( Oh, and I'm like a child who just wants to just have a conversation with you, while you are like a stubborn rebel kid who refuses to talk to me, as if I killed your stuff toy. Now, I think that that is REALLY wrong. It's like I'm alien. Or Green-Skinned that you DON'T dare to talk to me. I AM wrong, aren't I? I want to go to bed and cry, but it is so wrong to think about you. It's just WRONG. You are not my crush, nothing to me. A friend? I have NO idea. If you ACCEPT as a friend, I would be happy. I don't know why. I don't even know why I'm writing this whole LONG post about you. Okay. I DON'T KNOW. What is wrong with me? Stop. Stop. Stop. I tell myself this but my heart doesn't want to. My science teachers, all these years told me that your brain tells you what to do or "sends messages to your body to signal them what you MUST or WANT to do. And you know what i WANT to do? To forget you and how saddening you treat me. Forget. Forget. Forget. My heart doesn't listen. Maybe the nerves signalling to my heart has been connected wrongly. However, if I DO forget, then I wouldn't be happy during that period of time.. Maybe... Forget... Forget... :'( Loves, High Hyper & Awesome Gal |
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